my failure

Some bright failure
I can hear it call to me
As my wrist spins the key smoothly
And shoves the good lock around
The magnificent blunder, behind me
On the other side of the world
Never to be passed again
Flapping like a flag at the top of a mountain
I push the wood of the door away
And I see it, home.

My foot moves like an astronaut’s
Away from the street
Toward the carpets
And the warm lit lamps
Waving me in like friendly traffic
But
My failure,
My golden deficit wails out to me
Like a child left behind on an island

It stands as it stood
Ungathered and unfixed
Its mouth laid open, waiting
Or wandering in search of me
Faithful, knowing I’ll return for it
And though I slant there, sorry to be ruined
Straining my neck toward the threshold
Time poised inside, waiting to do me service
The delicate outline
Of my precious, beautiful, perfect failure
Starts to blink like starlight over quiet water

“how can you leave me?”
And I petrify
For love
Of something
I was willing to be ruined for
And home stands shocked
And Time averts his eyes
Both sorry to see the indignity
Of this spectacle